“Christmas Keepsake Week” – WTF!!!!!!!!! – 7/11/14

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Sorry for the late news bulletin here but the Hallmark Channel has been running their incredible array of Christmas movies all week long! The hell, you say? Even though it’s July and nobody actually says “the hell” to mean they don’t believe something? Well I’m happy to say the answer is Yes to both. I’m sitting here watching Christmas Magic right now. Did you know the main guy sings in it? Several times. That’s the magic part, I guess, because it doesn’t appear to be coming out of him or any person just singing in real life. This is actually a pretty terrible film. How many Eggnogs would I give it? The answer is, it doesn’t matter.. Because I’m watching a Christmas movie in July! Now I’ve seen everything! Well, I guess the only thing I still haven’t seen is a live walrus but sooner or later, I assume that has to happen and then I will have literally seen everything.

Apparently, the Hallmark Channel did this last year, I guess. Maybe even the year before, I don’t know but I do have to say it’s a pretty brilliant idea. Sure, there are original series on this channel like Cedar Cove and at least one show with the word “Heart” in the title, as well as reruns of Frazier and even some other movies not related to the Christmas holidays (remind me to tell you about them some day, I did a tiny bit of research after the big, post-Christmas adrenalin dump) but come on. Nothing compares to the magic of Christmas movies, except for, ironically, “Christmas Magic” and by that I mean that plenty of things compare to it because it sucks. Really though, that could be said about all things. Everything’s better during the Christmas season. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year, which is also the title of an okay movie that Hallmark showed earlier today and didn’t suck.

The point is, I miss Christmas and especially during the heat and pointless baseball games of the summer, it’s easy to feel like the holiday season is never going to get here. With Hallmark providing this little taste though, this little reminder of both our Christmas past AND Christmas future, they give us the present of hope. Hope that while it may seem impossible, we are just about 3ish short months away from the holidays. We could do that standing our heads, right?

Speaking of hope, I hope you too got this message in time to catch a Christmas star and unless I am having a fever dream right now, it gets better. This weekend, there is A BRAND, NEW CHRISTMAS MOVIE PREMIERING!!!! I think it’s called “Angels Sing” and stars Harry Connick Jr., Connie Britton, and Willie Nelson. Although just typing that pretty much convinced me this IS a fever dream. But hey, dream or otherwise, I am going to review that sucker soon. Stay tuned!

 

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